nor·mal
ˈnôrməl/
adjective
- 1.conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected."it's quite normal for puppies to bolt their food"
synonyms: usual, standard, ordinary, customary, conventional, habitual, accustomed, expected, wonted;
noun
- 1.the usual, average, or typical state or condition."her temperature was above normal"
- I have never liked the word "normal." We put this word on a pedestal, as if it is some unreachable goal we all hope to attain. Parents want their children to be "normal." Husbands and wives strive for a "normal" marriage. Doctor's even have parameters that determine whether a child's development is "normal." When someone decides to do something a little out of the ordinary, he or she runs the risk of being described as not "normal," as if it is a disease that one might catch. Children even complain that their parents are "abnormal." I have even caught myself on multiple occasions looking at another family and thinking that because mine does not look and act like theirs, we are "abnormal" or dysfunctional. WHAT IS NORMAL?! And why do we waste so much time trying to fit ourselves into its definition.I have decided to rebel against using the word "normal" to describe or compare my world to someone else's. It is so counterproductive, and really . . . when it's all said and done, do I want my obituary to read, "She lived a 'usual,' 'typical,' 'average' life and raised a 'usual,' 'typical,' 'average' family. Everything went as 'expected'"?! (See definition above.) The answer is an emphatic, "No!" While I admit that it is human nature to want our days to go smoothly without a lot of "abnormalities," the fact is that without life's abnormalities, we could not experience the joy of the extraordinary. Other facts that I have learned through hard experience but too often forget: Without weaknesses, we could not be made stronger. Without heart-wrenching pain, we would not know the true feelings of deep love. Without being lost, we could not know the sweet relief of being found. Father Adam understood this when he said, "Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God" (Pearl of Great Price, Moses 5:10). "He had discovered that in being lost, he could find God in a way that would not otherwise have been possible" (Hafen, The Broken Heart).If we could just see the challenges and abnormalities in our lives as means to an extraordinary end, we would spend a lot less time wishing things were "normal." The road to "extraordinary" is not paved by "normal."The following excerpt from a talk by President Gordon B. Hinckley says it all. It is a little long, but so worth reading:
One evening when my wife was at something which women call "a shower" and I was home alone, I put on a record, turned down the lights and listened to Beethoven's Concerto for the Violin. As I sat there in the semidarkness, I marveled that such a thing could come of the mind of a man, a man who, in most respects, was as I am. I do not know how tall he was or how broad he was or how much hair he had, but I guess he looked very much like the rest of us. He became hungry, he felt pain, he had most of the problems we have and maybe some we do not have. But out of the genius of that inspired mind came the creation of a masterpiece which has entertained the world through all of these many years.
I marvel at the miracle of the human mind and body. Have you ever contemplated the wonders of yourself, the eyes with which you see, the ears with which you hear, the voice with which you speak? No camera ever built can compare with the human eye. No method of communication ever devised can compare with the voice and the ear. No pump ever built will run as long or as efficiently as the human heart. No computer or other creation of science can equal the human brain. What a remarkable thing you are. You can think by day and dream by night. You can speak and hear and smell. Look at your finger. The most skillful attempt to reproduce it mechanically has resulted in only a crude approximation. The next time you use your finger, watch it, look at it, and sense the wonder of it.
You are a child of God, His crowning creation. After He had formed the earth, separated the darkness from the light, divided the waters, created the plant and animal kingdoms--after all this He created man and then woman. I hope you will never demean or belittle yourselves. Some of you may think you are not attractive, that you have no talents. Stop wandering around in the wasteland of self-pity. The greatest missionary the world has known, the Apostle Paul, is said to have been short, have a large Roman nose, rounded shoulders, and a whining voice, all of which may not sound too attractive to some persons. Abraham Lincoln, America's greatest hero, was tragically homely. But from his great heart and mind came words such as few other men have spoken.
I will end with one of my favorite quotes of all time. It has become somewhat of a motto for me when I catch myself bemoaning the "dysfunction" in my life:
Anyone who imagines that bliss ... is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. [The fact is] most putts don't drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . . . Life is like an old-time rail journey--delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride ("Big Rock Candy Mountains," Deseret News, 12 June 1973, As quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley).
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