To My Children and Grandchildren

I have not written on my blog for several months.  I have been busy, but truthfully, more self-absorbed than I care to admit.  As I watch my children grow up and leave home, a sense of anxiety has crept in, and I wonder if I have done enough as their mother.  I also worry endlessly about the soul-wrenching problems that they are either dealing with now or will deal with in the future.  I have agonized over my inability to come up with ways to help and advice to give because let's face it, only God has the answers to some questions, and sometimes he only reveals enough to lift the burden a little so that we can learn whatever it is we need to learn.

Despite these feelings of inadequacy, today I realized that the most important advice I can give to my children and their children concerns the choice all of us have to make in this life.  It is advice that I have always tried to relay in many different forms.  To quote Elder Boyd K. Packer:  ...the choice of life is not between fame and obscurity, nor is the choice between wealth and poverty.  The choice is between good and evil.  When we finally understand this lesson, thereafter our happiness will not be determined by material things.  We may be happy without them or successful in spite of them.

In other words, if we spend too much of our energy and time trying to figure out how to be more popular, more beautiful, more wealthy, etc., we will miss the point of this life.  On the other hand, we may also be wasting energy and time wishing we had some or all of these things, thinking that our happiness depends on it, yet despairing that our particular problems will keep us from achieving that happiness.  What we forget is that our problems, our weaknesses, our thorn[s] in the flesh, according to Paul's description, are means to an end.  They are part of the lessons of life, part of the test.  Some are tested by poor health, some by a body that is deformed or homely.  Others are tested by handsome and healthy bodies; some by the passion of youth; others by the erosions of age.  Some suffer disappointment in marriage and family problems; others live in poverty and obscurity. Some (perhaps this is the hardest test) find ease and luxury.  All are part of the test and there is more equality in this testing than sometimes we suspect (Boyd K. Packer).  The trick is to choose good over evil despite the problems that plague us and to remember that our worth is not determined by renown or by what we we own (Boyd K. Packer).

We are taught in The Book of Mormon that men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil, and men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man (2 Nephi 2:5, 27).  What a hopeful statement for struggling mortals!  Despite our problems, we have everything we need to succeed and make the right choice!

What are we free to choose?  The Book of Mormon answers this question clearly.  We have but two options, and all of life's choices, big and little will ultimately lead us to one of these.  We are free to choose:
1.  Liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men.
                                                            OR
2.  Captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil.  (2 Nephi 2:27)

Our lives are made up of thousands of everyday choices.  Over the years, these choices will be bundled together and show clearly what we value (Boyd K. Packer).

So I say to my children and grandchildren who will struggle with crises of identity and worth, who will wonder about what true success looks and feels like, who will feel like underdogs in a very competitive world:  Be good.  Study the gospel.  Live it! Stay active in the Church.  Receive the ordinances. Keep your covenants.  I do not know at this moment whether you are learning, but I do know that what I am teaching is true (Boyd K. Packer).

To those who may think that their problems are too complex, too overwhelming to fall within the simplistic patterns described above, Elder Holland says:
      I often think of those of you who are in the midst of a struggle.  As much as we want life to be easy and comfortable, as much as I wish it could be that way for you, it simply cannot be.  We are all, in one way or another, at one point in our lives, going to deal with a moral conundrum or a difficult issue without an easy answer.  
     At that point, we need to ask ourselves, "How much does the gospel of Jesus Christ really mean to me?"  How will you act when that call comes?  Will you defend Christ and His gospel, come what may?
     John Taylor wrote that he once heard Joseph Smith say to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, "You will have all kinds of trials to pass through.  God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it, you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God."
     The life of Christ was like that.  It is not coincidental that the word that is used for Christ's experience in Gethsemane is that He was in "agony."  If we say we're disciples of Christ, we will on occasion be in agony.  We must walk where he walked.
     When those moments come--contemporary issues, historical complexities, personal problems at home, challenges in a mission or a marriage, wherever it is--I pray and ask and bless you to the end that you will be strong.  May you follow Christ with every ounce of your being in good times and in bad.

Choose Christ.

Much of what I have written comes from an excellent talk called The Choice, given by Boyd K. Packer in the October, 1980 General Conference.  I would encourage you to read and study it.
"The Choice" by Boyd K. Packer